About Me


When I was five or six years old, I had a toy stuffed animal.  It was a sad-looking dog named “Lonesome.”  Within the past six years, on two separate occasions, I was told by radical feminists in San Francisco who I did not know that my “whole life is an experiment.”  They were referring to a brainwashing/mind-control/behavior-control experiment related to loneliness studies that started with that lonely-looking toy stuffed dog.    (Read more about this in my post, “Anti-Christian, Anti-American, Socialist Brainwashing.”)  Since  late 2008, I’ve been stalked and harassed overtly by political operatives and authorities who’ve indicated that I’m suspected of terrible crimes, though I’ve never been arrested.   I’ve been the subject of veiled death threats.  I have no privacy whatsoever.  Some of those involved know what I’m going to do before I do it, before I decide to do it.  I have vague, foggy bits and pieces of memories indicating that on more than one occasion I’ve been brought to a point of inebriation and/or drugged and coerced into making agreements I likely wouldn’t have otherwise.  I suspect that on some of those occasions, I was abducted.  

In an odd "coincidence" that I'm not sure how to explain, while a student at the University of Toledo in Ohio, I took part in a one-day psychology experiment that paid fifty dollars.  At the time, I didn't know what the experiment was for.  I just did it for the money.  Then, last year, I read an article titled, "The Lethality of Loneliness" which appeared in the March, 2013 issue of New Republic magazine.  I was shocked to find the experiment I took part in, now called Cyberball, described in the article.  It was then that I remembered the person facilitating the experiment saying to me as I left that day, "Have a nice life," a brazen, taunting allusion to continuing covert experimentation of which I was not aware. 

I was adopted as an infant.  Women who are either political insiders or federal intelligence operatives have been surreptitiously entering my life with the goal of marriage for the past 25 years.  One of them is Carrie Plank, the daughter of Long Island Protestant Minister, David Plank.  They lived in Speonk at the time.  Reverend Plank made veiled threats to me about having friends in the CIA, asking, “How would like to go work for them?”  I declined and he replied, “Oh, they’d love you.  I’m going to tell them about you.”  I’d been told in the past to either get married or “the CIA will make you a mind-controlled slave.”

I also suspect that the experiments being done on me are related to dimensional travel/time travel experiments conducted in Ong's Hat, New Jersey and Montauk, Long Island, which isn't far from Speonk.  In an interview with Richie Allen which is available on Youtube, Alfred Webre talks about time-travel experiments conducted in the early seventies, around the time I was born.  He claims that forces who have access to the technology, such as the CIA and similar entities, travel forward in time and identify people of note and “co-opt” their lives and/or groom them for important positions they are destined to hold.  It has been suggested to me that I am the subject of both of those things and many of my experiences also indicate that.  I’ve written that my life has been hijacked, but “co-opted” is the correct word.  They do it by means described above and in my brainwashing post.  Throughout my adult life, I’ve also had a string of “random” brief encounters with individuals who intended to covertly sway my fundamental political stances one way or another.

I have reason to believe that much or all of this is happening, especially the women sneaking into my life, because I stand to inherit billions of dollars from my biological father, whoever that might be.


Sheep-dipping
http://www.central-view.com/past.asp?number=1676
Do you think they can't use this process to ruin some unknowing victim?  Please...
In modern espionage terms, "sheep-dipping" is where you take one of your agents and you give him or her an alternate identity. Through the sheep-dipping process, you hope to rid your agent or case officer of all vestiges of his or her old self so that agent or case officer can emerge with an entirely new persona.
Knock, Knock And Sleep On It
Within the past year, there have been six or eight instances when, while sleeping, I suddenly heard the sound of someone knocking with great force, very loudly and was woken up by it.  It’s usually several knocks, say, six or more, in rapid succession.  Yes, dreams seem real, but these were not dreams.  I could hear the knocking loud and clear during the first seconds of being awake as if I was in a room where it was happening.   The first few times, it very clearly was the sound of knocking on glass deadened by water, the same way it sounds when you knock on the side of a large glass aquarium.  At some point, the sound changed to that of hard knocking on wood, as if, perhaps, on a hardwood tabletop and it’s stayed that way since. 

You know how when you’re having trouble sorting out an issue in your life, you might say, “Let me sleep on it?”  Every time this occurred, it was at an exact moment when I was approaching something important in the process of sorting out my situation or when I was recalling a critical event or encounter that I hadn’t yet recalled.  This knocking is done specifically with the intention of interrupting my train of thought while sleeping.

Some of these instances are accompanied by a comment.  I don’t remember them all, but, one that came after a knock on a night when I was sleeping particularly well, was “Hey!  You were falling awake.”  Last night, after the knock, someone said, “You aren’t going anywhere” or something to that effect, which is a comment I hear often by V2K.  The whole thing is a con that’s very difficult to get a grip on if you’ve got no one in your life who’s genuinely friendly on a regular basis, a few of which I now have.  And, of course, as you might expect, I don’t think there’s been a single occasion in which, once awake, I could remember what I’d been thinking when they knocked.

There is one instance of this that stands out, though.  Instead of a knocking sound, there was the sound of what I can only describe as a low-pitched electronic audio glitch that lasted two or three seconds and again, I couldn’t recall what I was thinking when it happened, but, like the others, it did interrupt something important.  And, of course, there was another similar instance that stands apart even more which I’ve already written about.  I was seated on a school bus, talking across the aisle to a woman with a greater-NY accent wearing a wig and a pink sport coat who asked me about an incident I’d written about and said “I’m gonna give you a hint.  That never happened.  It never happened.  Her and one of your tiger buddies…”  At that point, the video and audio of her faded out simultaneously as if someone turned a knob on an electronic viewing device.

The knocking isn’t the only think I’ve heard as if it was happening right next to me while I was partially asleep.  I’ve heard doors shutting a few times, dress shoes walking on a floor, something like a medical instrument or a pen, maybe, hitting a floor after being dropped.  Recently, there was the sound of a small stack of papers being neatened by holding it vertically and tapping it on a tabletop.  There have been others I don’t recall.




81 comments:

  1. Remove all references to myself and my sister and I'll stop commenting, John. Otherwise, it is my legal right to say what I must against this slander and I will use it.

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  2. There is no family money on either side of your parentage, John. You are not going to inherit much of anything because there is not much of anything to leave. I am sorry about that. I wish there was a safety deposit box somewhere with a few million in it. BUT THERE IS NO MONEY.

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  3. It's a simple question. Ready, set, go!

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  4. I don't her. My old friend John ( :) ) introduced you guys I think, if she's the woman I'm thinking of.

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  5. Beautiful. If it comes down to it, you're going to have to stick with that lie.

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  6. not a lie... don't you remember John (the poet) introducing you to her? John, I really want to help you, but if you keep thinking I'm lying I can't do that. BTW, I have my chat conversations with John all saved and can prove to you that he introduced you to her.

    I miss you and wish you could get home for a visit.

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  7. No...I specifically recall you introducing me to her. I know about Jeremy Haddle and his "J.D." from fly-by-night New School of SF, Kathleen. If you and I ever see each other again, it will be in a court room.

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  8. Your memory is wrong John. If it has to be in a court room, I will still be very happy to see you, but we both know you'll never take me to court where you would have to face reality and give up your fantasies. Seriously, I wish you would do that so you could move out of your delusional world. As always, John, I wish you well.

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  9. Unprompted comment by Connie Kashay: "No one's going to help you, John."

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    1. Taken out of context. By the time we are 43 we should not need help from family. It's time for you to work at being an adult, instead of mooching off of everyone.

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  10. It's your turn, Kathleen. Tell us another lie. Say you never visited my family in Niles, psycho.

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  11. I have not met your Niles family, EVER.

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  12. I hope you are feeling well and had a good 4th of July. I suspect the fireworks were great in SF. Were they? Take care of yourself, John, and keep writing. You are so good at it, just like I was.

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  13. Get psychiatric help, please, John. You are living in a hell of your own making, or rather of the making of wacky chemicals in your body.

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  14. Where'd ya go, Kathleen Kashay? What do you think of the new pics? Why did you tell me I shouldn't have children?

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  15. Kahtleen, your silence serves as nothing less than definitive confirmation. Psycho.

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  16. Kathleen, it's been a week since I asked for your input about the new pics. Where'd ya go? I need you to remind me how insane I am.

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  17. Kathleen, it's been three weeks since my most recent post. I'm feeling a little sane. I need you to remind me how crazy I am, something you love to do. Where'd ya disappear to, Kathleen Kashay?

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  18. Kathleen, you out there? I'm sorry about what I said. I need some "motherly" advice. My next post is ready to go, but there are a few points I'm not sure whether I should mention because it's getting a little long. What do ya think--should I include your recommending "Jude the Obscure" and "Breakfast of Champions?" How about Connie asking if I met anybody interesting at Borders the week after my interrogation started? I don't want to digress too much. Just so you know, I will be mentioning Gale Benson, Hakim Jamal, Michael X, and the Chicago 7. Am I on the right track, Kathleen?

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  19. I hope you had a decent Thanksgiving at the DePaul mission, John. Everything is fine here. Come home when you can.

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  21. Christmas is coming John. I'm the DePaul Mission in, of course, the Mission District, will celebrate. Have a happy holiday season, Kathleen

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    1. I take it Feodor is your father then, Kathleen. And, of course, you and Connie are Cushing cousins. Figuring out who Connie's father is should prove interesting.

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  22. Kathleen Cushing Romanov: DO NOT e-mail me or contact me in any way, including especially holiday wishes in Chinese--I'm not a demented socialist nut-bag like YOU. Please, keep it to yourself, WACKO! I would also appreciate it if you would stop posting here, AUNT of mine. You are not welcome in my life and NEVER WILL BE.

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    1. You did notice and take advantage of the $200 Amazon gift certificate that was in that email, John. I know this because Amazon notified me when you collected it. Since you do not want me to email you, I guess I'll not be able to send more money. I hope you enjoy the $200 you just received, John. Take care of yourself. Love you, Kathleen

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  23. Kathleen, tell me more about "how easy it is to have someone killed." Remember when you brought that up out of the blue?? "All it takes is a couple grand" and you and your burn-out buddy, Dirk have a friend who will do it, right? You and your ominous melo-dramatic tone. When I asked why you're telling me this, you had no answer. Yes...I remember, but at the time, I didn't realize it was a death-threat.

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  24. And you never did tell me what you did time in Mansfield for, K2. My bet is on bank robbery or tryin' to blow something up.

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  25. You can say what you want John, do your worse to smudge my reputation, but I have all the facts, with evidence of those facts, that will prove you wrong. I know you are trying to hurt me because I did not turn out to be the mother of your dreams, specifically I'm not rich, can't take care of your lazy ass. It's all OK, John. If your schizophrenia leads you to rant like this I can easily forgive you. As usual, I wish you weren't in such a state that you are paranoid of everyone and every thing. I can't imagine living in the ugly, frightful fantasy world you have created for yourself. There are no women after you (except maybe your rape victims), no CIA and no FBI. Why do you think you are so important that people would spend their time on you?

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    1. You're not my mother at all and you will pay for what you've done. I've never raped anyone and those who have framed me will pay as well.

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    2. David Plank will pay. Joseph C. Zoccali will pay. Christine Faranda will pay and you will pay.

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  27. Someone on Craigslist posted a picture of you on Craigslist here's the link to it http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/vnn/4276863047.html

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  28. Hi, John. I see your story has changed again. Are you writing a fiction novel, or do you really believe this horse manure?

    Why don't you and I have DNA tests done, so you can see finally who your real mother is. I'll pay for the DNA testing and even come to SF is necessary to get it done. If it turns out I'm not your biological mother, you'll see me no more. If I am your biological mother you'll have to come off of this delusion that Jacki'O is your mother. Really, John!

    Take care with love, Kathleen

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    1. A DNA test. How convenient that would be, considering you're my aunt, which would render similar, or even exactly the same results to a parent. Kathleen, I didn't see much resemblance between myself and any of the Kashay snapshots you showed me, but Connie said I was the spitting image of my grandmother in response to your comment that I look like Maud. Of course, Connie's reply to the Maud comment included, "Which one?" Jackie as three Mauds very close to her. Which grandmother was Connie talking about? I'm curious to see some pics, because I sure do look a lot like Irina Paley.

      Why do you even try, you crazy psycho? It's over. Prepare for prison. I guess Bill Doggett must be a friend of yours.

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    2. Understand this, Ms. Cushing-Romanov: if you comment on this blog again, I will post a photo comparison of you and your parents. Stay OUT!

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  30. I thought you would run from a DNA comparison, John.

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  31. Why did u not go to the correct source having overcome so much now you have made it harder on yourself

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  32. I think i may be able to her you
    Trying contact you

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  33. I can help you prove who u really are,and with proof 99.9@% no one can then deny you your legacy ,but am having trouble contacting you.

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    1. Hmmm...is this "Nancy" with from Vegas with the Troy, New York phone number? You're a liar.

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  34. Ready for that DNA test John? I'm paying for it. And I'll even give you some cash if you have it done.

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    1. Why is it so important that you and Connie not be mentioned on this blog by name? K2, please pay attention to this: Because you are my aunt, of course, you and I would show a genetic match. A DNA test between you and I is not going to change anything.

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    2. You very clearly told me, "There's no such thing as a coincidence." So, Bill Dogget's gloomy forest business card, your immediately subsequent pleas for a DNA test upon my posting that card to this blog, and Cacioppo's mention of a "gloomy forest" IS all a coincidence? How does that work out, K2? Maybe you should call your buddy who kills people for a couple grand. Oh, no...you can't do that now.

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    3. Why don't you have the "police pick [me] up in the mission" as you threatened in that e-mail I have, K2? I DARE YOU.

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    4. I'm going to give you the one thing that is going to make you happy, my son. I'm giving up on you. I won't be bothering you here any longer. You are on your own.

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    5. I'll ask again: Why is it so important that you and Connie not be mentioned on the blog?

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    6. You threatened to sue for slander. Why don't you do it?

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    7. You know, Kathleen, you said there's no such thing as a coincidence. That got me thinkin'. My brother-in-law is a white supremecist, at least. I'm pretty sure he's a socialist, too, and has turned my sister that way under threat. You're a socialist and you've threatened me. Coincidence?

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  35. Happy Birthday, John! I hope it's a beautiful day in SF. Are you amenable to a gift?

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    1. Sure, K2. But first, tell me more about your friend who died of AIDS in Pittsburgh.

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  36. I guess you don't really want the money, John, or you would not put down a condition I must meet before I can give it. As far as my friend who died from AIDS, that none of your business.

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  37. Check your email John for a birthday card.

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  38. To the family of Mr. Zoccali, you are all remarkably kind and loving people. My heart goes out to you all. I hope everyone here finds peace.

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  39. the Zoccalis have never been "kind and loving" to John. Right now John's brother is sueing him. How kind and loving is that?

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    1. I beg to differ!!! The Zoccali's have ALWAYS been loving, supportive, and proud of John!! Please withhold your negative comments when you know nothing about the entire situation!! Allow John to find peace and comfort within his own mind!

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    2. I find it interesting that this loyalty to the Zoccali name is coming out just when Joe is suing John.

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    3. You need to get your facts straight!! Read up on the action ass!! You cant sue John!! He has nothing to sue for!! However he is making it look really good for an insanity action to force him to get the real help that he needs!!

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    4. Ah, yes, when losing an argument reverting to very childish name calling is the way to go, for you because you have no where else to go.

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  40. Too all my anonymous friends, starting when John was about 12, his family, especially Joey, who has other issues with John, was banking on his obtaining a lucrative NBA contract. Things started going bad when that dream died and got worse when John graduated from Ohio State.

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  41. I might also add that John's family wasn't too happy about a mixed relationship he had during his second year of college.

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    1. to the misinformed anonymous friend....Joe is not "suing" John you ass!!! read the complaint and get your facts straight for the second time!!! Second of all John, I amso sorry to say this to you, but you really weren't that good to go to the N.B.A.!! You were tall! You had skill for a small town boy and it very graciously paid for your tuition in college. Other than that, no one had any visions of you playing professional sports!! I know you are in your own world, but please, get over yourself!!! Also, "the family" never even had any idea of an interacial relationship until your fictional writings came out! I really don't think there would have been an issues with it as long as thei Johnny was happy!! You were everything to them, just like Ann and Joe!! You were having issues as early as 4 when you fought off your first bout with meningitus! I believe this is where some of the mental issues you were having first came to light.

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    2. I know you are fighting off your own demons, but shame shame shame on you!!! All the love, time ,effort, and money the Zoccali family has given you and this is what you do to them? Poor Nancy is rolling over in her grave!!! Mental illness or not, there are many people who love and support you. There is help available to you, and medications to help you gain structure and stability, but you have to STOP making wild accusations towards your family!!! They may not be blood, but they could not have loved you any more if you were!! NOONE is trying to kill you! NOONE is in the C.I.A.!!! NOONE planted computer chips in your freakinf feet and teeth!!! You are not related to Jackie O, and I am not related to Princess Grace or the King of Spain!!! STOP THIS MADNESS!!! There is help for you! There is family for you!!! You have to see the problem and take steps to correct it!!

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  42. John, if thats your name. I'm a total outsider and stumbled upon this by accident. I'm also an Ordained Minister. Why don't you put yourself under the care of a trained Psychologist of YOUR choice so you can get to the bottom of this? I do think you might have some issues that need resolving after reading this whole blog. If you pick your own care there won't be any outside influence that you seem concerned about. Signed...A Total Stranger who's concerned about all human beings.

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  43. I've been trying to reach you, John. I have no hidden agenda here. I want nothing from you, other than to know you are alive and where can I send a gift? Things have been rough here for the past three months, but that is the way life goes. For now, everything seems to be getting better. I hope the same is true in your life. Considering how cold SF can get on winter nights I hope you have a warm safe roof over your head.

    I'm terribly sorry about everything that has gone wrong between us and hope to start a healing process. I love you as always. That never stops. K2

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    1. The comment indicates that you have knowledge of recent changes in my life, Kathleen. How is that so?

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    2. You mentioned it in your blog, John. I'm glad to see you are still alive. If you come up with an address you are comfortable with passing on to me, I'll send you a little bit of money (at least $200.00). It's entirely up to you. Otherwise, I will leave you in peace, if that is what you want.

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    3. There is one thing I'd like to ask you, Kathleen, which I may not have already. You once said to me, unprompted and cryptically, "It's for your own good, John," as you warmly caressed your new copy of Barack Obama's book. What were you talking about?

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  44. A Wells-Fargo type office would do.

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    1. You're an atheist, right, Kathleen? (Knowing what I know now, that makes it nearly impossible for you to be my mother.) On those grounds alone, I can't accept a single penny from you. Please, forget about me.

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    2. Good fortune be with you, John. I'll never forget you, but I will leave you alone. If at any time in the future you feel you have a reason to talk to me, please feel free to contact me. Since this will be my last message to you, I will take this opportunity to say that, no matter what you say, I believe that deep in your mind and heart you know that I am your biological mother. BTW, don't you think it's interesting that you took up photography and writing and moved to SF? I truly hope that life gets better for you and you have a good future. With all my love, your mother, Kathleen.

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    3. I "moved" to SF because I was being stalked and harassed, not knowing that it would continue in SF and that all that's happened to me over the course of many years was socialist, anti-American brainwashing that very much intended for me to end up homeless in San Francisco where such brainwashing is completed with the intention of turning the person gay. It's all going to blow up any time, Kathleen. Either way, you're an atheist and therefore I can't have anything to do with you.

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  45. Wow. I stumbled on this during a Google search. You seem to have some *serious* psychological issues. Please seek help.

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