Memo to John McCain: Keep Your Eyes on Your Own Paper

J. Paul Zoccali

Sarah Palin's Speech

          If you think Sarah Palin isn’t up to the speech-making aspect of being a vice-presidential candidate, take heart. John McCain’s got her back. As the Alaska Governor confidently delivered her speech accepting McCain’s offer to join him on the Republican ticket for the upcoming presidential election, Senator McCain, standing to her right and slightly behind her, occasionally cast his proud, fatherly gaze in the direction of her notes. In fact, during the opening remarks he checked out those notes 3 times before Ms. Palin did once. This went on sporadically throughout the address, with McCain sometimes

studying the script for as much as 3 or 4 seconds at a time. (It seems a lot longer on TV.)

McCain’s actions are perfectly understandable. He probably just wanted to be prepared for his reaction to the various high and low points of the address. As any seasoned politician would know, the little subtleties of how these events play out on camera are crucial to the principals involved. Body language can effectively convey an array of messages, some more outright than others, often without the viewer’s knowledge. Missing an opportunity for one more warm hug at just the right time would be tantamount to sleeping on the job, and we know John McCain wouldn’t do that.

          Just in case your weren’t able to tear your focus away from the charismatic and highly charming Palin to see what the stately senator was up to, all you could see of McCain’s eyes as he repeatedly scanned the script were his eyelids and only a tiny slit of iris and pupil, if any, thus adding at least a hint ambiguity as to the subject of his attention. Sometimes he was nearly in complete profile. Every time I noticed this, I couldn’t help but being reminded of a 1996 video clip of our then commander-in-chief pressing the flesh amidst an eager crowd outside the White House a day after being elected to his second term in office. Among those at the front the crowd was an ambitious, beret-sporting White House intern. You may have missed it, but their jovial exchange included a quick, but direct glance by said intern toward what I’ve heard some females refer to as “the nether regions” of the leader of the free world – a “package shot”, as it’s come to be known. (This photo is not of the package shot itself, but it is from the specific event to which I allude. (Due to stalking and harassment by operatives from both major parties, I have removed the photographs from this post.))
          McCain was visibly antsy throughout the address, occasionally picking at a fingernail, and once or twice anxiously starting his lean-in for that right-moment, warm-n-fuzzy hug, only to have the former 3rd place, Ms. Alaska balk at the offer. Finally, when Ms. Palin finished her address, McCain used both hands to shake her hand and then leaned in for that last triumphant hug. Palin tactfully stepped away – twice, as if trying to get a better angle to waive at all sections of the crowd. But the Arizona maverick wouldn’t be denied. He crept forward until he got that hug, seemingly to the Ms. Palin’s mild irritation. John McCain: A guy who needs a lot of hugs. Who would have known?

          For a guy who’s been accused of inappropriate treatment of women in the past, it would seem prudent for Mr. McCain be a little more conscience of the potentially self-damaging messages he might be sending, however inadvertent they may be. Even the most remote possibility of McCain ogling Palin, especially as she became only the second woman to run on a major presidential ticket, likely wouldn’t sit well with yet-uncommitted Hillary fans. (In reality, the Palin choice isn’t intended to steal votes from Obama, anyway. It’s main objective is to maximize the number of Republican women who vote, and secondly to draw in conservative-leaning independents, both male and female. Extremely few, if any, Hillary Clinton fans are going to vote for a beauty contest-winning, machine gun-toting, anti-abortion crusader. The very notion is rather absurd.)
          Mr. McCain, if indeed the purpose of one or two of those glances was to harmlessly gauge whether or not the lovely Ms. Palin has the right amount of junk in the trunk as apposed to knowing when and how hard to clap, man-to-man, I can’t say that I blame ya. The secret’s out – she’s hot. Are we not men? But here’s the thing: (whispering in ear, covering mouth with hand) Lots of people are watching.


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